Has elegance disappeared from Los Angeles? For a city filled with red carpets, grand openings and movie stars, I have to wonder if it is all only for the paparazzi...
A few nights ago, I had a rare opportunity to go out with the girls. This is not to say I don’t go out anymore, but this was one of those nights when we decided to dine out of the box. Those of you from L.A. know how easy it is to stay local. Heaven forbid one has to drive outside their comfort zone, even though we all have cars of great stature and comfort.
I was very happy with my decision to go for more than one reason. I had a great outfit in mind I wanted to wear - and I didn’t have to drive. Nothing could make me happier than to think of taking a hot shower, doing my hair and getting dressed up!
It was something I really needed after a long week of multiple play-dates, school, parks and family dramas! I remember how fun it was as a child to play ‘dress up’ and how it makes me smile now when I see my daughter create her own style. She loves to watch me get dressed. She pays attention to everything I do, asking questions from, “Why is the mascara black”, to “Why is it important to smell good and feel soft.” It brings back very fond memories of watching my mom get ready to go out. She always looked so elegant, just like a movie star.
So what happen to those days… the days of the ‘movie stars’? I’m not suggesting that every night we go out we should dress like a million dollars, but what I noticed on this particular evening was no one dressed up… not even like ten dollars. Women all around the restaurant were in sloppy jeans and oversized sweaters that made them look like they were trying to hide something. Their hair was tied up as if they were about to wash their face. A natural feel maybe, but too natural for an evening out? My girlfriends and I made such an effort to wear our favorite outfits for the night, and at this moment I was wondering, what for?
I had been so excited to slip on a pencil skirt that hit right over my knees, and my cream silk blouse from YSL that tucked in perfectly; I put on my vintage Gucci belt that fit my waist perfectly, and topped it off with 4” black suede high-heels and a vintage Christian Dior clutch. It felt so good to feel glamorous for just one night.
One of the things I love about going out is observing others. I love to see what they are wearing, how they wear it and how they interact. A few weeks ago I wrote about “the silent movie”. I use this technique a lot as a way to really take in my surroundings and learn from others – how they look and their behavior. I think that night was when my disappointment set in.
So what was wrong? Were we in the wrong restaurant - the wrong town? The ambiance was radiant, the décor was elegant, the waiters were charming… why not the people?
There was such an imbalance in the room I was literally taken aback. Suddenly I began to feel insecure and started to wonder about myself. Was I over dressed? Why did I get so dressed up tonight - what was I thinking? Is everyone staring at me? Quietly I looked at my girlfriends to see if I could tell what they were thinking, but no one seemed to care.
Maybe I just don’t get out enough or, worst of all, maybe I’m getting older. Oh no, could that be true? Has motherhood set me back to a place where I actually don’t know what is “hip” anymore? The buzzing in my head was non-stop and I seriously thought something was wrong with me.
Once we sat down at our table and carried on with the evening I began to feel more composed. Maybe it was the affect of the wine I was having, but whatever, I didn’t care. I felt comfortable, confidant and, most of all, elegant. I realized it had nothing to do with where I was, what I was doing or even what I was wearing. It had everything to do with how I felt about myself inside.
“Elegance is a glowing inner peace. Grace is an ability to give as well as to receive and be thankful. Mystery is a hidden laugh always ready to surface! Glamour only radiates if there is a sublime courage & bravery within: glamour is like the moon; it only shines because the sun is there.”
As I look back on that evening I wonder if I was confusing elegance with glamour. As certain nights are special and rare, we have expectations of a glamorous night out, like we see in the tabloids or on TV. But why go through all the trouble of getting dressed up in the first place if what I just described is the current, local fashion?
Los Angeles may not be New York, where you can walk into a restaurant and everyone looks divine. But it has its own intrinsic elegance, something special unto itself. I love this city where I was born and raised; it has never let me down and I don’t believe it ever will.
At the end of the day you know what really made me smile? When leaving the house all dressed up my 4 year old daughter turned from the TV and said, “Mommy, you look sooooo beautiful, I can’t stand to look at you.”
“Elegance is innate. It has nothing to do with being well dressed. Elegance is refusal.” - Diana Vreeland
XO
Wendy
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