I Have to Have Those Chanel Pants!

When I was in my twenties, I lived in Monte Carlo for almost 10 years.  I married a young Italian man who spoke very good English, but whose life style was also very Italian.  At first, I didn’t work, didn’t go to school and had very few friends.  I did however have a clothing allowance and I thought that was the cat’s meow!

My closest friends were “shop girls”. I hung out in all the major clothing stores with the girls who worked there.  They were young, beautifully dressed and all spoke English, as the city was primarily based on tourism.  I always got to see the latest, newest arrivals first, and felt very privileged.  Then I would get my husband to come and buy me a few outfits, depending on his budget for the month.  I would beg and plead for just one more “pair of shoes”, because I was told the following month they would be sold out. 

After a few years of living in an apartment on Avenue Princess Grace, we moved into a hotel suite.  Space was limited and I had to put a lot of my things in what was called a ‘cave’ in the basement of the hotel.  I switched my clothing depending on the season, and spent a lot of time in the ‘cave’ looking at all my clothes and dreaming of what I was going to buy next.

One of my closest girlfriends, a beautiful young woman from Argentina, worked at Chanel.  One day she showed me the latest new Chanel pants that came in and said she thought they would look great on me.  Only a few were coming in and I had to have a pair.  My monthly allowance was already at its limit and I knew my husband wouldn’t make any exceptions.  I was so obsessed with having those pants I just had to figure a way around my husband’s budget.  I woke up at 2 a.m. one morning with a plan.  I shook my husband awake to talk about it and to negotiate.  He thought I was completely out of my mind.  It was 2 a.m. in the morning. “What was wrong with me”, he yelled!  

What was wrong with me?  My life was so empty I had no clue it was being consumed by ‘material’ things, which I had become obsessed with having. 

Not long after that I nearly had a ruptured appendix and was rushed to Princess Grace Hospital.  I spent 10 days there recovering.  I had so many flowers in my room you would have thought I died.  An American friend of my mom’s sent me books to read while I was recovering.  Ironically they were all books on “spirituality”.  I could not stop reading them; I read and read and read.  I began to realize how unhappy I was inside, how unfulfilled.  I read about how your health can be affected by storing suppressed feelings of guilt, shame and anger.  I began to realize that having a ruptured appendix might have been the sign of stored self-anger.  It was all so intriguing to me.

Today my life is completely different.  Do I still like nice things and have earthly desires?  Yes, of course!  But my priorities and reasons why I have what I have are completely different. 

My advice:
Try to
think before you shop.

Here is a concept most of us really don’t consider; thinking before shopping.  Take a moment and ask yourself, “Where am I in my life right now?  Can I honestly afford this purchase without regretting it - and will it make me feel good when I own it?”  As a store owner, I see this attitude occurring more and more on women, probably due in large part to our present economy.  People are more aware of what they are buying and need a valid reason for making a specific purchase.  Of course, there are many who do not, and that’s OK too; we are all in different economic situations.  But regardless of your particular circumstance, it can still be a propitious time for many to take a different approach to shopping.  When we begin to change as a community our entire environment will change.  The values we pass on to our children will change.   As I mentioned in my last blog, cleaning out my daughter’s room and passing on her excess clothes and toys to others was an absolute joy to teach to her.  I am confident she will grow up recognizing there are other people in the world less fortunate than she is, and giving when you can is a wonderful asset.  I also hope to teach her that ‘no matter what you have doesn’t determine who you are’.

My life in Monte Carlo was a true testimony to this hypothesis.  In a place where everyone seemed to enjoy such extravagant luxuries, it was amazing to see how many problems they had as well.  The amount of money a person had didn’t take away the pain.  In fact, for many, it even made things more difficult.  How can you have so much and be so miserable?  This was something I struggled with for years. Many of my acquaintances thought because I lived in a hotel suite for a few years it was the greatest luxury you could have.  But for me it was one of the more depressing times in my life.  I had no freedom to be creative; I was obsessed with clothes and I had no idea who I was as an individual.  Maybe now if I lived in a hotel suite I would feel differently, particularly with a little less cleaning and cooking. Ha, ha!

I must admit, I still struggle with how much is too much and how much is just enough.  I still love to shop and will always be drawn to beautiful things.  I can honestly say that after having my daughter many of my priorities changed.  I never thought I would bypass those great jeans this season and stick with the ones I had last year in order to send her to summer camp.  It was a profound lesson for me: not having the latest handbag or shoes for the current season.  I always prided myself on being “fashionable”, and that meant having what was “hot” for the season.  Who was I without that image? 

When we stop putting all the focus on the outside and begin to concentrate on who we really are behind our “style”, what we discover can be fascinating.  In my shop, I now notice more of the woman behind the clothes; the spirit in their eyes reveals so much.  And the confidence they exhibit when wearing their clothes.  It says so much about a woman when she can throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt (which suits her body type) and accent it with a gorgeous necklace she may have had for years, and a vintage handbag from the seventies.

By doing your own personal inventory you can really rediscover what you already have.  So when you go make that next purchase, it can be something of value, as opposed to something you have repeated season after season, only to be stored at the bottom of your closet.

In Summary

I would just like to end with a cute little story: It was my birthday yesterday and my daughter loves to make cards and draw pictures as part of her gifts.  One of my presents was a drawing of a bear.  The bear was divided into different sections and she had perfectly colored each part a different color.  There was only one portion of the bear that was stripped.  When her daddy asked her, why the stripes on the bear, she replied, “Daddy that’s the bear’s STYLE.”

See you again, 

Xo

Wendy

You can learn more about consignment stores and how they work at The Cottage Boutique website.

Cleansing Your Closet

by Wendy Plumb

July 19, 2011

Diana Vreeland (a fashion doyenne) once said: “Never fear being vulgar, just boring.  We all need a splash of bad taste; no taste is what I am against.”

What is your style?  Your taste?  Your fashion?  What does it say about you?  What message do you convey to the world around you when one sees you but doesn’t know you?  Does it change - or has it remained the same year after year?  Or do you give it much thought?  Is it something you take for granted - or perhaps don’t even care about?

I have come to realize that our own personal style says a lot about who we are and where we are emotionally in our lives.  It is something not to be taken too seriously, but doing a personal inventory of who you are from time to time can be fun and rewarding.  You may be surprised at what you can achieve and change without spending any money - and actually feel better.

Remember the phrase: “Retail Therapy”. 

If, for example, you are feeling down in the dumps because of a bad break-up, and your friends say, “Hey go shopping it’ll make you feel better”. Well, sometimes that can work… at least until your credit card bill comes in the next month!

Temporary happiness can actually be worse than going through the initial pain.  Here’s another easy idea, whether you’re going through a crisis or not, how about starting with… Cleanse your closet!

CLEANSING YOUR CLOSET

First off, even though I consider myself a woman of style and good fashion sense, I have to confess I am the ‘Queen of clutter’.  Ergo, what does that say about my mind?  Every day I go by my closet and see piles of unorganized hangers; clothes I haven’t worn in years; clothes that don’t look good on me anymore and clothes I might fit into one day.  This is a real shame and waste - not to mention incredibly frustrating.  And sometimes I realized my professional life is in exactly the same state.

Piles of unread articles I promised to get to; stacks of magazines with photos of how my home will look when I get the money to redo it; and unfulfilled dreams of the perfect job I don’t have, but will get one day when it is meant to be.  One time I even sent away for a brochure on how to “Professionally Declutter”.  It was so long and complicated it also got thrown into the, “Will get to when I have time” pile.

It wasn’t until a close girlfriend of mine told me about an experience she had while cleansing her home.  She reminded me that, “When you let go of the old - the new has space to arrive”.  Of course, I’d heard that adage before, but for some reason it really resonated with me at that moment.  I knew my life style was blocking creativity because I hadn’t left any room for inspiration.  And what is life without inspiration?  Especially if you consider yourself a creative person.

TIPS TO CLEANSING

1)  Slow Down:  We rush around a lot of days to get where we’re going and accumulate stuff we don’t really need.  We think it brings us happiness or satisfaction, until we begin to “cleanse” and find some of those items at the bottom of our closet; half the time with the tags still on.  If we were more aware and conscious before buying the item, we may have made a different choice.  Have we forgotten how to find simple old fashion happiness?  The next time you are about to purchase something ask yourself, ‘How much do I really need this item?’  Whether it’s a new hand bag (even though you have 4 others in your closet), or a new toy for your son or daughter - even though they have lots of others too.  When we “slow down” we make better choices.

2)  Let Go:  One of the greatest satisfactions in life is to make someone else happy; especially someone less fortunate than yourself.  When I started to cleanse my closet the last time, I made give-away piles for different people in my life.  My neighbor, who is a single mom and works so hard raising her two kids; the children of our community gardener who is so dedicated to making our neighborhood look beautiful; and some of my friends who are going through a rough time and need anything to brighten their day.  I also made piles of things I could resell – meaning, ‘consign’, and make a little extra money my family could use.  That’s where local consignment stores in your area can come into play. 

Being the owner of a consignment store myself, I can truly say it will make an appreciable difference in your spending budget.  At The Cottage Boutique,  consignors bring in everything from clothing, to shoes to handbags & jewelry.  And be sure to always have your items in the best condition possible; clean and organized.  The better quality and condition they are in is the key to a higher price-value of your sale.

You can learn more about consignment stores and how they work at: www.thecottage-boutique.com

3)  Respect:  When going through this process, remember to consider the value of what you already have.  When I’m home with my 4-year old daughter and cleansing, I make it a point to tell her what I’m doing and why.  She always asks, “Mommy, what are you doing with my toys (or dresses), they’re mine?”  I try to teach her about children in the world who are not as fortunate as she is, and those who may not have mommies or daddies to love them like she has.  I say, ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to make them happy and share what you have?’  She has now learned at an early age about letting go and respecting her own possessions… as I have.  It is a great project to share with your children at any age.  Make it a positive experience.

4)  One day at a time:  This process can seem overwhelming at first, so take it one day at a time.  We are all busy with our lives and families and priorities and would rather be doing anything but ‘cleansing’.  But I have come to realize this process can be very rewarding.  It has definitely put my priorities in order and become something of an addiction.  Every time I let things go out of my house, I have received something beneficial in return.  Even if it’s just one closet or drawer at a time; make an effort to do something each day.  It has been a form of meditation for me, which has enhanced the way I live. 

5)  Attitude:  When I first embraced this process, I realized how much in my life I didn’t enjoy - and what does that say about oneself?  We worry so much about what we don’t have that the ability to enjoy what we do have has disappeared.  Being grateful for all the beautiful things you do have in your life - being in good health, able to see, able to walk, able to hear, to have the ability to put a smile on someone else’s face, for laughter, for nature, for all that surrounds us… we sometimes take too much for granted.  

As curious as this may seem, all this came to me when I began my home and closet cleansing.  I began to appreciate what I had and how wonderful it felt to let go of what I didn’t need.

IN SUMMARY… 

So, after you take the time to ’cleanse’ you may feel one of two things: You may panic  and want to run right out and go shopping; or you may take the time to really enjoy the concept of “less is more”.  Sometimes if we have too many choices it is impossible to focus on what we really want vs. what we really need.  Now is time to be creative with less. Wear those things you have put away for a special occasion today… now!  Why wait, enjoy the moment now.  This is the time to identify and define your creativity and individual style.  After a while, you will begin to add to your personal style, but add when inspired and motivated

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my very first BLOG.  I hope you found it useful and encouraging and will return to read more.

See you again.

Xo

Wendy

Hello

I was born in California and have been a long time resident of the Pacific Palisades, where my 4 year old daughter Vienna attends Lycee Francais.  I am the direct descendant of a Polish noble family and the King of Poland (Leszczynski – Leski in the U.S.) on my mother’s side.

Early in my career, I pursued my first life’s passion by studying in and thoroughly enjoying the fashion industry.  This pursuit took me from Los Angeles to New York, Tokyo, Paris and finally to Monaco Monte-Carlo, where I lived for almost 10 years.

Upon returning to the Palisades I took on the challenge of my second most ardent passion by attending the USM in Santa Monica and studying spiritual psychology.  During that time I also free-lanced in styling for many magazines and a variety of professional fashion photographers.

After having my daughter I went into business with my mother, who had opened a ‘resale designer boutique’ in the Palisades Village called The Cottage Boutique.  We have been in business now for nearly 8 years. 

My love for fashion and psychology inspired me to start my own blog, called: ‘Fashion Therapy’ by Wendy Plumb.

I hope you will enjoy it.