What Happened to Elegance?

Has elegance disappeared from Los Angeles?  For a city filled with red carpets, grand openings and movie stars, I have to wonder if it is all only for the paparazzi...

A few nights ago, I had a rare opportunity to go out with the girls.  This is not to say I don’t go out anymore, but this was one of those nights when we decided to dine out of the box. Those of you from L.A. know how easy it is to stay local.  Heaven forbid one has to drive outside their comfort zone, even though we all have cars of great stature and comfort.

I was very happy with my decision to go for more than one reason. I had a great outfit in mind I wanted to wear - and I didn’t have to drive. Nothing could make me happier than to think of taking a hot shower, doing my hair and getting dressed up! 

It was something I really needed after a long week of multiple play-dates, school, parks and family dramas!  I remember how fun it was as a child to play ‘dress up’ and how it makes me smile now when I see my daughter create her own style.  She loves to watch me get dressed.  She pays attention to everything I do, asking questions from, “Why is the mascara black”, to “Why is it important to smell good and feel soft.” It brings back very fond memories of watching my mom get ready to go out. She always looked so elegant, just like a movie star.

So what happen to those days… the days of the ‘movie stars’? I’m not suggesting that every night we go out we should dress like a million dollars, but what I noticed on this particular evening was no one dressed up… not even like ten dollars. Women all around the restaurant were in sloppy jeans and oversized sweaters that made them look like they were trying to hide something. Their hair was tied up as if they were about to wash their face. A natural feel maybe, but too natural for an evening out? My girlfriends and I made such an effort to wear our favorite outfits for the night, and at this moment I was wondering, what for?

I had been so excited to slip on a pencil skirt that hit right over my knees, and my cream silk blouse from YSL that tucked in perfectly; I put on my vintage Gucci belt that fit my waist perfectly, and topped it off with 4” black suede high-heels and a vintage Christian Dior clutch. It felt so good to feel glamorous for just one night.

One of the things I love about going out is observing others. I love to see what they are wearing, how they wear it and how they interact. A few weeks ago I wrote about “the silent movie”. I use this technique a lot as a way to really take in my surroundings and learn from others – how they look and their behavior. I think that night was when my disappointment set in.

So what was wrong?  Were we in the wrong restaurant - the wrong town? The ambiance was radiant, the décor was elegant, the waiters were charming… why not the people?  

There was such an imbalance in the room I was literally taken aback.  Suddenly I began to feel insecure and started to wonder about myself.  Was I over dressed?  Why did I get so dressed up tonight - what was I thinking?  Is everyone staring at me?  Quietly I looked at my girlfriends to see if I could tell what they were thinking, but no one seemed to care. 

Maybe I just don’t get out enough or, worst of all, maybe I’m getting older. Oh no, could that be true? Has motherhood set me back to a place where I actually don’t know what is “hip” anymore? The buzzing in my head was non-stop and I seriously thought something was wrong with me.

Once we sat down at our table and carried on with the evening I began to feel more composed. Maybe it was the affect of the wine I was having, but whatever, I didn’t care. I felt comfortable, confidant and, most of all, elegant. I realized it had nothing to do with where I was, what I was doing or even what I was wearing. It had everything to do with how I felt about myself inside.

 “Elegance is a glowing inner peace. Grace is an ability to give as well as to receive and be thankful. Mystery is a hidden laugh always ready to surface! Glamour only radiates if there is a sublime courage & bravery within: glamour is like the moon; it only shines because the sun is there.”  

                                                                                              - C. JoyBell C.

As I look back on that evening I wonder if I was confusing elegance with glamour.  As certain nights are special and rare, we have expectations of a glamorous night out, like we see in the tabloids or on TV. But why go through all the trouble of getting dressed up in the first place if what I just described is the current, local fashion?

Los Angeles may not be New York, where you can walk into a restaurant and everyone looks divine. But it has its own intrinsic elegance, something special unto itself. I love this city where I was born and raised; it has never let me down and I don’t believe it ever will. 

At the end of the day you know what really made me smile?  When leaving the house all dressed up my 4 year old daughter turned from the TV and said, “Mommy, you look sooooo beautiful, I can’t stand to look at you.”

“Elegance is innate.  It has nothing to do with being well dressed.  Elegance is refusal.” - Diana Vreeland

XO

Wendy

You Can't Always Get What You Want but...

Do you ever ask yourself why some things we want in life come so easily while others seem to be a constant struggle? Why your strengths can be your best friend’s weakness - and your weaknesses his or her strengths? How hard do we have to strive for that “dream to come true”… and for how long?

When is enough, enough? Are we not trying hard enough, or are we completely missing it all together? Maybe what we think we want we really don’t? This might apply to your dream relationship, dream job or everyday goals that just don’t seem to ever work out.

Then of course there are those people who seem to ‘have it all’. The ones who set their minds to something and seem to achieve it in an inordinately short period of time. The ones who make us judge ourselves and ask the question, “Why are they better than me?” 

What I recently discovered was that some of the people who seem to “have it all” actually don’t. In fact, sometimes they can be the ones who struggle the most. Having too much of everything does not, by itself, necessarily constitute a life of fulfillment. 

In a world with so much pressure to succeed, we often lose sight of what is truly important to us. Each of our likes and needs are different. While it may seem perfectly normal to want that certain guy because he is successful, well-off, has an engaging personality and appears to be a great guy to start a family with, he may not be the right one for you. Often, those can be characteristics that cause us to overlook the fact that he might not be attentive, is self-absorbed and frequently emotionally unavailable.

As I mentioned in my last blog, inspiration is an important ingredient for the right choices. Perhaps one of the reasons we are not achieving what we want is because what we need is something completely different. 

Are we really inspired by the company we’ve worked at for years; or the project that just can’t seem to get the “green light”? When is it time to take a step back and figure out why it’s taking us so long to be truly happy. We do learn from our mistakes, but at what point have we memorized our mistakes?

I was at my girlfriend’s home the other night (we’ve known each other nearly 10 years) and we began talking about being happy. She admitted that despite being a very positive person; generally happy, beautiful, spiritual, hardworking, etc., she wasn’t truly happy at all. In fact, she said she couldn’t remember the last time she was happy for any significant amount of time.  

I know how hard that was for her to admit. And if it hadn’t been for my daughter being in my life, I might have said the same. 

It was such a big step in her life, and mine as well, because we both realized after all these years maybe we were just striving for the wrong things. Maybe the man who was really going to make her happy wasn’t the man who was going to take care of her; wasn’t the man she would be inspired by. It was at that moment I never wanted happiness more for her. 

Allowing our vulnerabilities to surface and admitting them out loud can bestow us with a great inner power. Not only do we release them from our minds but by putting them out there wholeheartedly and candidly, we establish a precedence to measure what it is we may actually need to be truly happy. 

It’s OK to admit we may be going about parts of our lives in the wrong way. Our minds are so powerful we should not let them override our hearts. When coming from a susceptible place, we let go of the need to be right… and wouldn’t you rather be happy then right? 

We have often heard, ‘when guided by the heart one can do no wrong’. So why don’t we listen? Maybe in order to connect with our feelings we need to feel… to find a ‘tool’ or ‘ritual’ that helps us do this. 

Pain is a feeling… a feeling which hurts and we frequently go to great lengths to avoid it. And most of the time we don’t like to admit we’re in pain because it leaves us emotionally exposed. But if we stop avoiding pain and start embracing it, it may not be that scary after all. 

Our hearts know what we need; it will get us there if we begin to trust it. Our children trust us to know what they need when they are in pain because they love us. Maybe we need to teach our children from a young age to embrace pain, as opposed to staying clear of it. What does your heart tell you, can you hear it? 

It’s better to cry if you feel sad, yell if you feel mad and smile if you are happy. Let’s not tell one another not to feel, but encourage each other to openly express our feelings. I believe it is through this process that we can help our children and our friends find their own road to a complete and happy life. You may be surprised how many of your friends feel the same way you do. 

I am grateful to my girlfriend who admitted she wasn’t truly happy. For what might have been a brief poignant moment between two friends, is still with me. 

It’s amazing how an old Rolling Stones lyric can make you feel sooooo much!  

                      You can't always get what you want
                      But if you try sometimes well you just might find
                     You get what you need.        

                                                                   - Rolling Stones 

 Xo

Wendy    

The Silent Movie

In my last blog, “Desperately Seeking Someone”, I wrote about the lengths we sometimes go in order to meet the perfect someone.  I offered a few suggestions as to why you may not be finding the ‘one’.  Maybe you really aren’t exactly where you need to be before rushing into the next relationship.  So, take the time to indulge yourself, because if you can’t stand to be with yourself what makes you think anyone else is going to want to be with you either?  We often think we need someone to complete us, when in fact we should seek someone to ‘join’ us.  Someone who inspires us as we strive to inspire them.

Years ago I was in a relationship with a man for 5 years.  It was one of those relationships that put you through the ‘ringer’.  Although he was a man of few words, he never failed to point out my negatives.  He would even circle misspelled words in the little notes I left him, and then hang them on the refrigerator door for me to see.  I felt like a three year old, not to mention embarrassed.

I will never forget once during an argument he said, “Wendy, you just don’t INSPIRE me.”  Inspire him, why did I need to inspire him?  This comment haunted me for years.  

In retrospect he was right.  I was at a point in my life when I had no inspiration, I didn’t know what I wanted or how to change it.  All I wanted was not be alone.  However challenging that relationship was, it taught me so much about myself; and what a different woman I am today because of it.

Living a life filled with inspiration will never compare to a life without it.  How we live our lives… from the style of our home, the clothes we wear and even the way we treat other people, all stem from what inspires us.  It is in what we observe that stimulates our feelings, which in turn leads to inspiration.  

When inspired we can create, and when creating we are truly living our lives and feeling fulfilled and harmonious. More often than not, when distracted from this process, we feel the need for someone else to fill our void.  This is when we feel alone, or can be attracted to the wrong type of relationship.  Even an existing relationship can go through times that lack passion.  The strength of that relationship will usually determine its outcome.  Nevertheless, it is so important to have something in your life that keeps you alive so you don’t slip into ‘neediness’ and other negative emotions.

This is where “The Silent Movie” comes into play.  I will never forget the story of a girlfriend of mine who was in a terribly painful relationship.  She was very in love but at the same time was in an awful place in her life.  She lacked money, inspiration and self-worth.  

She called me late one evening to tell me she was sitting at a bus stop heading downtown to see her boyfriend.  She barely had enough money for the fare.  He didn’t have time to pick her up (she didn’t drive then) and was too busy.  I asked her, “But why are you going to see him now, you’re crazy, its 11pm at night and you’re a woman sitting at a bus stop and miserable?”  She said, “But he told me how much he loves me.  It’s just that he doesn’t have time to come and get me because he’s busy with his friend and that I should just catch the bus and come to him.” 

That’s when I said, “STOP - take away the words and let’s look at the scenario: You’re a beautiful, young woman sitting at a bus stop, no money in your pocket except for bus fare, it’s late at night and you’re crying.  What do you see?  Do you see or even feel LOVE?  I see a desperate and pathetic young woman who is lost.”

And that was exactly who and where she was in her life.  It wasn’t until she realized by seeing herself, not just listening to the words, that her perspective began to change.  It wasn’t the ‘style’ she intended for herself, yet it was the rest of the world to her at that moment.

We can all play out our ‘silent movie’ at any given time in life.  Watching and observing any situation is the road that can inspire us to change, or forgo the life we’re not intending for ourselves.  Our actions do not lie; while our words can be misleading - or in an opposite sense, very revealing. 

It is easy enough to say “I love you”… but wouldn’t you rather feel “I love you”?  In my view, this expression is used more casually now than ever before.  It’s because we are all so desperate to hear it, and are disappointed when there is no action to follow?  It’s like a temporary fix.  

I believe this is why by using the “silent movie” in your life you can honestly see where you are at any given time.  When you watch an opera in a foreign language you may have no idea what they are saying/singing, but you feel every emotion they are performing.  Children and animals are great examples of ‘love’ with no words as well.  Animals don’t talk but when they trust you and realize you are the one who will take care of them they perform acts of kindness and love every moment.  

Children are the same.  Before they can say “I love you mommy”, they run into your arms with more love than any word can express.  Sometimes, it is just a look in their eyes that tells you so much.

As a woman and now a mother, it is more important than ever for me to set an example of being true to my word.  Life without integrity is one which will eventually wear you down.  What examples are we to our children if we’re not living a life with honor?  Will we make mistakes, of course, and that’s OK.  It is through those mistakes that we’ll also grow.

We teach our children not to lie… to tell the truth… to share with your friends and don’t throw sand.  Shouldn’t we do the same?

Xo

Wendy

Desperately Seeking Someone

"It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone.  It would be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he’s terribly strong.  And if he’s stronger than I, I’m the one who can’t live with him.  I’m neither smart nor stupid, but I don’t think I’m a run-of-the-mill person.  I’ve been in business without being a businesswoman; I’ve loved without being a woman made only for love.  The two men I’ve loved, I think, will remember me, on earth or in heaven, because men always remember a woman who caused them concern and uneasiness.  I’ve done my best, in regard to people and to life, without precepts, but with a taste for justice."

                                                                                                                             - Coco Chanel

To what lengths will we go to meet the perfect partner; the love of our life… Prince Charming?  It seems like more than ever there is a great desperation among many modern women to find a man. Why is it more difficult now than before?  Are we ever really satisfied?  If we’re not… why not?  What are we doing wrong? 

Every time I turn around there is someone complaining about their ‘relationship’, or lack thereof.  I have women friends between 30-65 years of age looking for a relationship, and no matter what they can’t seem to find one.  Many have been married & divorced; some have children and some never have and don’t want any.  Their economic situations are similar - they all support themselves, but want a partner who can support them as well.  They are beautiful women, well-schooled and talented in multiple ways, but they all cannot find a partner.

Some of these women have tried using psychics who told them they were going to get married and live happily ever after.  One was even told she had a curse, and “the curse had to be removed before she would find a man”.  Of course, the psychic offered to remove the curse with just ‘a few more sessions at so much per session’!

Others have attended seminars on ‘How to Marry a Man’.  One lady even wrote a book on how to get married and has developed quite a following.  The book is entitled, How To Get To ‘I Do’.

(I always wondered what a guy would think if he found that book as bedside reading material at the outset of a new relationship!)  

Recently, I met some women who were sick and tired of not finding the ‘right one’.  So they took affirmative action and are trying Online Dating!  It appears this approach can take on a life of its own.  It becomes a full time job. 

Along with their photo, they post personal profiles of themselves’ and then sit back and wait to see who winks at them via email.  After the “winking” process comes a response, which sometimes leads to a real date or, for some, maybe just coffee.  Ostensibly the process goes on until your match matches another.  For many this method has worked, but for others it has led to complete disappointment.  They are left feeling more frustrated than before they started.

So what is the answer: Well, I don’t know.  I do believe, however, in fate.  I believe there are times in our lives when we will have a partner and times when we are destined to be alone.  The times in which we have a partnership are not always easy; and neither is the thought of one more day by yourself. 

If you are alone right now, ask yourself ‘why’.  There is most likely a reason and it may be that you are just not willing to give up what it takes to have a close relationship with another person.  Sometimes we need to appreciate where we are and what we have in order to move on to the next stage of our lives.

 

I also find it interesting that people who are alone always identify themselves as being alone, when in fact their lives are quite full.  Human affection, love and support do not only come from a boyfriend or husband.  And too often there are times when our expectations of ‘the one’ are so high they are impossible to fulfill. 

If we could all only embrace our lives where they are at the moment… before you know it, your life could change.  Who really knows when destiny steps in?  I often find it happens when least expected.

If you are seeking passion in your life then live your life passionately.  If security is what you desire, then make sure you already feel secure.  If pure friendship is what is important to you, then be a good friend.  Take an inventory of how you live your life and the people already in your life.  I read once that our life is a hall of mirrors; it will reflect back everything we need to know.  Value the time when you are not in a relationship - for then “value” may just walk into your life.

I believe in love; I believe in everlasting love.  I also know it takes a lot of patience, a strong will and a woman who is willing to endure it all.

Xo

Wendy

Beauty from Within

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries or the way she combs her hair.  The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.  True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.  It’s the caring she lovingly gives, the passion she shows… and the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years."  - Audrey Hepburn

I began my blog ‘Fashion Therapy’ to encourage others to discover their fashion sense from within.  I believe the more we develop ourselves internally, the more beautiful a person we become externally.  This concept of inner beauty struck me at an early age.  I would see women who weren’t particularly physically attractive, but who had a fabulous boyfriend or husband and were very happy.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’d say, but I always knew it was deeper than that.

Obviously, when meeting someone for the first time we are quick to judge them by their outer appearance.  So what was it that made these certain women different from the ones who were far more physically attractive?

For as long as I can remember I loved fashion magazines (and still do). Like many teenage girls, I would cut out my favorite pages and paste collages on my bathroom mirror and bedroom walls.  Every day I would dream of becoming one of those girls.  I wasn’t the most beautiful girl growing up but I wasn’t unattractive either. I managed to do some modeling in Japan for a time, and that was a big deal.  I thought my dreams had REALLY come true.  

The most difficult challenge for me early-on was having an extraordinarily beautiful mother.  It was such a blessing in my life, though I didn’t realize to what extent until recent years.  

Like many things in our lives we don’t appreciate them until we grow older and mature.  As my mother received so much attention from her beauty, it encouraged me to be different and find where my real beauty lay.  I was always very proud of her, but I also recognized there were probably years I was jealous of her looks and all the adoration she attracted.  “Who was I if not as pretty as my mother” was something I struggled with for a great deal of my life.  “Who was I if not as pretty as all those girls in the fashion magazines?” was another.  I think many young women toil with this question at some point in their lives, especially being raised in a society that puts so much attention on our outer appearance. 

It took me years to realize there was something much deeper that make us beautiful and make us happy.  Knowing who you are and what you want is not as easy as it sounds.  We have so many choices available right at our finger tips.  Who is unique if everyone looks the same?  

Your ‘inner beauty’ is what makes you an individual.  This is what no one can “copy” - because no one has experienced your personal journey.  Knowing this journey and outwardly exhibiting it is what makes us beautiful, stylish and confident.

          “People respond well to those who are sure of what they want.”

                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                 – Anna Wintour

                   

As I raise my daughter I want so much for her to be smart, confident and secure.  I encourage her every day to look people in the eye when she is talking to them and telling them her name.  To be proud of who she is and considerate of the other individual she is interacting with. 

To develop self-respect from an early age is so important and contributes so much to our later years.  Our children have their own life’s journey; all we can do is guide them the best way we know how.  We will all make mistakes and hopefully our children will forgive us - and forgiveness is my favorite ingredient for beauty.

This one is for you Mom - I love you; for all your flaws are my greatest gifts - and all your strengths are the ones I aspire too.

xo

Wendy

A Turn in the Day

"The most important thing to remember is that you can wear all the greatest clothes and all the greatest shoes, but you’ve got to have a good spirit on the inside.  That’s what’s really going to make you look like you’re ready to rock the world."  - Alicia Keys

I woke up the other morning like any ordinary morning and, as always, lay in bed for a few minutes just contemplating the day and praying for my life condition to be strong & positive.  I had my coffee in bed, opened my laptop and began to write.  I always write in the morning before my daughter wakes up.  It is my personal time; the only time I am really alone throughout the day.

As you know, once we have our children, from the time they wake up till they go to bed, it’s all about them… no matter how many times you may say, “Mommy needs just a few minutes, I’ll be right there?”  I have come to realize that it will always be this way.  So instead of regretting having no time to myself, I ‘create’ personal time and feel so much happier.  Creating personal time is essential.  For some it’s a natural instinct to set aside certain periods of the day and do what makes them happy; for others like myself, it was something I had to work at creating.  But by doing so deliberately, it allowed me time to read, write my blog or even take notes in my journal.  Something that is just for you!  It really makes a difference.

Once Vienna woke up that morning we had some breakfast, applied our sun block and got dressed for camp.  I dropped her off at the beach and took my morning run.  While on the beach I realized how fortunate my life was that I could be on the ocean every single day.  I can look at the mountains and the Pacific all in the same instant.  This is truly a gift and I appreciate my environment greatly.

When I got back home to change for work, I felt amazing.  I had a great workout and all my thoughts were organized toward what I was going to accomplish throughout the day.  I washed up, threw on a vintage caftan with a Spanish motif and grey leather boots from Old Navy.  (My latest purchase … $40, I couldn’t believe it!)

I was in such a good mood; I felt confident and stylish.  As I left the house, Mr. Wolf said, “You’re not going to wear that today are you?”  “Well of course I am” I said.  “You’re going to wear a Mexican shirt and leather boots and its summer, and you call yourself a Fashion Therapist?”  This was all in good humor I assure you and off I went.

That day in the store I got so many compliments on my outfit.  I actually had a woman follow me into the store because she wanted to find out what I was wearing.  Another woman saw me from across the street and said to herself, “Now that woman has style”, and came into the store to tell me.  I sold a lot that morning and was so grateful for all the compliments.  They were very unexpected; but I find that’s when those type of comments feel the best.  I also realized, as I mentioned last week, I was giving off such a positive energy that others felt it.  It was a true test to feeling beautiful from the inside out.  I had no special make-up on, or anything expensive - just a priceless spirit!

Halfway through the day I got a phone call at the store.  It was one of my closest girlfriends.  She is a twin and her sister was pregnant.  She was crying hysterically, explaining that her sister had been rushed off to the hospital and it looked like the baby was going to be delivered prematurely.  

Obviously she was terribly frightened and emotional.  I did my best to calm her down and assured her I would get there as soon as I could.  This meant I had to close the store as soon as possible and pick up my daughter from camp.  In a matter of seconds my day had been totally redirected.  My focus went from the business of the store to an intense high-alert with someone very close to me. 

Within an hour I was able to get under way.  The twin girls are very dear friends whom I’ve known for 10+ years. They are fashion designers from Australia and I feel a special closeness to them, especially with their family so far away.

It was a very tense time that afternoon; we had no idea the condition of the baby and a C-section had to be performed.

I was grateful my life condition was strong and positive that day.  It helped me help others get through a trying time.  When the news came the baby was fine we all felt a huge sense of relief and finally could relax.

My daughter was so excited she was going to see a brand new baby only a few hours old.  She had no idea what we all had just been through - nor should she have.  

There is an age of innocence that should be protected for young children.  And as parents, I feel it is our responsibility to keep them in that precious world for as long as possible.  We have the power to do that when we are taking care of ourselves from the inside.  The healthier I am spiritually and emotionally the happier my daughter’s life will be.  She never sensed the fear I had experienced for a good part of that day.  She stayed positive and excited; and as I watched her I learned to do the same.  

That evening we were finally able to see that brand new life, just hours old.  With her first child, my girlfriend’s life had changed forever, as all our lives do once we have children.  It brings forth all your internal strengths, ones you may not even know you have.  It makes your heart sing louder than you ever thought it could and it tests your spirit continually.

My day ended at about 10pm that night holding a new life.  We never know what to expect when we wake up… and the only thing to do is be prepared for the unexpected.

Welcome baby Felix … and ‘get ready to rock the world!’

Wendy 

Flirting with Destiny

“I don’t understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little… if only out of politeness.  And then, you never know, maybe that’s the day she has a date with destiny.  And it’s best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.”

                                                                            - Coco Chanel

How do feel every day when you leave the house in the morning?

How often do you think about your place in the world?  Are you joyful, grateful and excited to embrace the day?  Could today be the day that will possibly change your life forever?  Many of us who are unmarried and perhaps looking for “the one” probably think of our destiny more than others.  And then for others, the daily routine of life may get in the way of how we feel about ourselves and the energy we are portraying.

My daughter attends the French school in the Palisades.  All the moms look so elegant in the morning while dropping off their children.  I thought to myself, how do they all look so good every morning - so early in the day?

As I looked closer, I became aware that it wasn’t about what they were wearing - but how they were wearing it.  It was all in their attitude.  No matter what was going on internally, they displayed an ‘elegant style’ even if they just had on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. 

This always fascinated me even back in the days when I lived in France. French women have a certain way about them, no matter what they believe, they are beautiful.  I admire this quality very much.  As for me, I never felt that way.  I lived under the impression it was arrogant to think you were pretty.  I now believe it instills confidence in a woman when taught correctly.  People are attracted to other confidant people.

This reminds me of a story I remember after meeting one of the mothers from my daughter’s school at the park one day.  She began to tell me how the past year had been very difficult for her and that she was going through a terrible divorce.  As she shared a few details, I was able to read between the lines some without prying too much.  The one thing that touched me the most about her story was her disappointment with ‘destiny’.  She told me that before she got married she had a great zest for life.  She was happy, had many friends and, like most her age, dreamt about whom she was going to marry someday.  “I used to read my horoscope in all the magazines and wondered where my life was heading”, she said.

Then it happened, she met a man, got married and had two children.  She never read a horoscope again or gave a thought about her future.  She said there was no point in it because what could happen any different; she had found her destiny.  Now, years later, she laughed while telling me, “I cannot believe I’m in my early 40’s with two children and reading my horoscopes again.  I would have never imagined this.”  

I will say though that after her very trying times, she had such a new found vitality for life.  She had learned so much about the way she saw her future.  The experience made her humble and made her stronger.  “I will never take for granted any moment of my life again” she said, “because you never know.  I wake up in the morning, get my kids ready for school and get myself ready for the day, because I may meet my destiny again.”

Our lives begin so innocently… with an attitude toward life that is totally fresh and alive.  As parents, we try to preserve that sense in our children for as long as we can.  As our own lives evolve challenges constantly arise; it is not so much the challenge of life that makes us jaded, it is the attitude we have to overcome.

If we choose to hold on for years, to be victimized by our circumstance, then our lives will remain in the state indefinitely.  

When this attitude takes place, it can affect not only you but many others around you.  The spirit in our eyes dies; we stop caring about how we look and we present the wrong impression.

                       

Our inside reflects our outside - so it is vitally important to maintain your spirit.  Your soul is capable of having many destinies.  Grow, learn and move on from each period in your life, just as your child does from grade to grade. 

As an example, would you hold your child back in school because their feelings had been hurt by another child?  No, of course not.  You would love them and encourage them and explain that sometimes things like this can happen in life.  But you would not hold them back from all their greatness.  The same goes for us: Love yourself, surround yourself with others who will encourage you and help educate yourself spiritually.

Beauty resides in all of our experiences in life.  Don’t let the freshness in your eyes disappear.  We fall in love with a person’s “well kept” soul from the inside and out.  Flirt everyday with your life.  If feels good to get a genuine compliment from another human being.  And likewise, experience how good it feels to give a compliment. 

How do you want people to remember you?  Who do you want to attract?

I remember from my conversation in the park that day a beautiful strong woman totally inspired me.  You can experience the same.

Have a great week…..

Avoir,

Wendy